iamnotmyfather | You are NOT my father [Locked to adm_chris

Pike stops mid-stride as he hears the boy's voice behind him. He doesn't turn around yet, though. He's still hurting and trying to calm himself down. Footsteps tell him that his own Jim has probably followed as well.

"Then what do you want, James?" he asks evenly.

James doesn't like that even tone, it reminds him too much of... God, he frowns and closes his eyes so he doesn't have to see their faces. Or at least so he doesn't have to see his older self's face. It's quiet but...

"I want to stay with you two."

Pike seems to relax a little with those words and he finally turns around to look at the boy carefully.

"Are you going to follow my rules?

Those blue eyes open a little and he watches the Admiral. This was harder then he thought, really damn hard. But he bites his bottom lip nice and hard, still trying to hold back those tears.

"Yes."

Better start this off right then...

"Yes what, James?"

James bites his inner jaw nice and hard making sure he tasted blood, not used to any of this. Not used to having someone give a shit about what he did or didn't do either. It was all too weird to him.

"Yes, sir."

Pike stepped closer to him and pulled the boy into his arms, resting his chin on top of the boy's head.

"Very good," he whispered softly, rubbing on hand up and down the boy's back as he met his own boy's gaze with his own. What could he say? He knew he needed to talk to Jim about Frank... about what his lover had said... but not now. It was still too new.

"All right then, boy, back to our quarters. We have something to finish I think. And not with cuffs or whips either. I'll keep it simple this time."

James merely takes in the way it feels to have arms wrapped around him like that, the way those hands felt... Although the next words have him feeling like he's going to get sick. Though at the mention of not using the cuffs or whips, it was kind of a relief.

So he turns and heads back towards their quarters.

"Do you want me to go back down to Bones, sir?" Jim asks watching the two of them.

Pike watches James before turning back to his own boy.

"Yes. You need to stay there until I send for you, boy. I don't want you hanging around outside the doorway this time. Understood?"

Jim gives a slight nod. "Understood, sir." He gives his younger self a small smile before leaving and heading down to Bones and his own boy.

Pike shakes his head and follows James inside his quarters, closing the door behind them.

"I'll keep this simple," he says quietly, "but don't expect me to do so again. Tomorrow we'll discuss an outline of rules I expect you to follow. Jim will fill you in on anything else. For now, though, you need to strip and kneel by the bed."

Great... more rules to go by. Though he's not going to argue that. Instead, even if it feels a bit weird, he strips down and moves over kneeling beside the bed.

Pike watches him, feeling a sense of pride that the boy didn't even argue with him over any of that. He nods to himself and moves to sit on the edge of the bed, trailing his fingers through James' hair.

"Don't ever think I don't care about you, James," he said softly. "If I didn't care I would be so upset about what you did. Can you understand that?"

The fingers through his hair felt good. Although those words... confused the hell out of him. It didn't really make all that much sense.

"Not really, sir. You are upset..."

"I meant that I wouldn't be so upset, James. I'm sorry. Some things that were said tonight have just... " he trailed off. It wasn't his job to show weakness to either of his boys. "Anyway... come up here, over my lap, and let's get this over with, shall we?"

"They upset you." He says softly, then slips up and moves over the Admiral's lap.

Pike trails his hand down over James' back, over that tattoo for a moment, then down across the boy's backside.

"I'm not some unfeeling ogre, James," he finally answered. "Despite what others say of me, I do have feelings." He cleared his throat and closed his eyes for a moment before continuing. "You'll get twenty with my hand and then this will be over and done with and we start over with a clean slate. I don't expect you to keep count this time, but in the future, I will ask that you do so." Without warning, he raised his hand and brought it down in quick succession, barely giving James a chance to adjust; wanting this over with.

Not some... He hadn't... but his mind doesn't go to what he'd originally thought. He bites his bottom lip, those tears springing up despite trying to stop them. James wanted this over with too, but mainly because it hurt like hell. He's had worse, but god... He just wanted this done and over with.

Pike didn't let up at all, not until that last strike and then he pulled James up into his lap and held him tightly, rocking him back and forth and trailing his fingers through the boy's hair.

"It's over, James," he whispered softly. "We're done and it's forgiven. It'll never be brought up again, I promise." He felt himself getting choked up and he had no clue why. He just knew he absolutely had to keep it together until he could get Jim up here to sit with James...

Those tears slide down his cheeks and when he's pulled into the Admiral's lap, he curls up and buries his face into the man's chest. Though there was a part of him that wanted to pull back, this wasn't natural... It just didn't happen after being punished...

But he doesn't move, he kind of likes knowing that someone cares.

Pike does nothing more than just continue to hold him, to rock him and to soothe him as much as he can with just his voice and easy touches along his back. He feels the wetness of the tears against his chest and he just holds James a little tighter.

"I'm so proud of you," he whispers softly. "You were so good and you didn't fight against me on it. I am so very proud of you. You did very good for your first time like this..."

That gets a slight shake of his head, he didn't want to... "No, I'm not good. I've never been considered good, I'm not..." He chokes out, those tears coming harder. No, Frank had it drilled in his head that he wasn't.

"Oh yes you are, James," Pike said adamantly. "I don't give a damn what Frank told you. It was all a lie. You are good if perhaps a little misguided at times but that does not make you bad or evil." He held James back a little to meet those blue eyes with his own. "Look at me, James. I will never lie to you. Never. And you are good... and perfect as far as I'm concerned, even with your flaws. Don't you ever let anyone tell you that you're bad or that you're not good enough. They are lying. Do you understand me?"

Those tear filled blue eyes watch the Admiral and he wanted to argue that. Wanted to say that he couldn't be good, it wasn't in him to be. However, instead, he gives a small nod. "Yes, sir." He chokes out.

"Good," Pike answers and leans in, placing a chaste kiss to James' forehead. "All right, on your stomach and let me rub some of the healing salve I have onto you so that you aren't hurting so much."

You are NOT my father [Locked to adm_chris_pike]

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